Blog 29. Relationship Wisdom: You Only Spend 20 Years With Your Parents. Have You Thanked Them For What They’ve Taught You, Or Do You Blame Them For Everything That’s Gone Wrong In Your Life?
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If you ask people whether they would have chosen or preferred different parents to the one’s they have, their answer is usually – no.
Most of us realize that swopping our parents or even our problems for those of others, might not actually be so clever.
What we don’t always articulate is that what we learn from our parents, whether good or bad, often teaches us exactly what we need to know, for our lives to progress. We just have to be attentive and aware of this.
Years ago I heard a great teacher say, ‘Your parents gave you life, the rest is extra’. If you think carefully about this statement, without a knee-jerk reaction, in a way this is very true. Our parents did give us life and possibly a few tough lessons too. However, we are only meant to ‘stay ‘ with our parents until sometime during or after our teenage years. After that – what we do with our lives is our choice.
And everyday we have the choice of either becoming a victim of the first say 20 years of our lives, or we can find ways of dealing with the pain so as to understand, accept and then make the best of what we are left with.
Often I have used the following question to emphasize our life choices: If we die at say the age of 90, and you’ve spent 20 years of your life with your parents, then will you have wasted 70 years of your life blaming your parents for what they did or didn’t give you or, are you going to make the best of those 70 years?
Even if the first 20 years were hell, you still have a choice. After all you have some 70 years left to repair and live your life differently.
So have you thanked your parents for the opportunity they gave you by giving you life and are you making choices that best suit your life goals?
Note: © 2014 Information Copyright Deidré Wallace
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4 Comments
So very true, took me a long time to realise this, and there are people my age who still hold grudges against parents and siblings for things ling in the past. It eats away at you.
Absolutely, Christine and thank you for replying. Much appreciated.
Helpful
Dear Jabbar
Thank you forletting me know. Much appreciated.
Best Wishes,
Deidré