Blog 85. Divorce: Your Mistakes Might Not Be Mistakes – But Important Life Lessons.
As a Relationship Therapist, Life Coach and Teacher, I have observed the following:
Some people feel that they’ve made terrible mistakes throughout their lives and that they have wasted and spent time in the wrong relationships or careers.
As a result they feel let down, disappointed, sad, maybe even angry, and many also feel they have failed.
This is rather sad and possibly unnecessary.
Sometimes it’s only much later in life that when we look back, that we are ever able to fully understand the doors that were opened, the choices we made and the lessons we learned even though the experiences may sometimes have proved very painful indeed.
When you look back you can choose to either become pessimistic, or even depressed about past choices – or you could choose to think differently.
If for just a moment, you could contemplate that everything you‘ve done so far which has brought you to this particular time and place – might be exactly where you need to be.
Maybe, just maybe, all these mistakes, relationships, career moves, good or bad, have allowed you to gain certain experiences, that you could now use for your own benefit or even the benefit of others, depending on what your next career or relationship move might be.
Sometimes even the smallest work or relationship experiences can help you later in life. We all have had those moments when we look back in gratitude thanking our lucky stars that we learnt particular lessons that have stood us in good stead later on.
So, if you are able for just a minute to think in these terms, you could start developing a new attitude and a trust in your own past and present decision making processes. This could help you overcome your feelings of failure and lack of self- worth.
If you could think of all your life choices as part of a journey that has brought you to this point in time, then possibly the next step would be to consider what your next course of action could be and how you could use what you have learnt over all these years?
Also, some of those choices you thought were so wrong, might not turn out to be so bad after all. You may now have a few experiences under your belt that you want to share with a grandchild or through writing a book or whatever.
Each one of us is unique. We all at some point doubt ourselves. We all compare ourselves to others whether we admit this or not. We don’t live in a vacuum. If however, we could learn to trust our decisions we may find life a little easier to cope with.
Sure, you may be too young to truly understand this article’s topic however, what you could do is learn to find a way of trusting your decision making process, from now on and learn to trust that whatever you do or what ever you choose – will and often does come in handy later on.
At least this is far better than complaining about your life choices.
Being optimistic is a more advantageous choice than being pessimistic. Optimism often also opens more doors. Why? Because people are far more attracted to those with positive outlooks than negative complainers.
Sure, big dreams don’t always happen. Usually we have to compromise. And sometimes it’s through a lot of no’s that a yes arrives. Sometimes you even have a kiss a few frogs before your Prince arrives. However, all these experiences are part of the journey of life.
What lessons therefore have you learnt from your past career and relationship choices? And how are you applying these lessons in the present? Do you trust that each mistake isn’t a mistake at all, but a learning curve that might be applicable to use later on?
© 2017 Deidré Wallace All rights reserved.
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