- RELATIONSHIP WISDOM: TO ATTRACT THE RIGHT RELATIONSHIP YOU NEED TO BE CLEAR ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT
When you meet someone it’s very important that you know what you want out of life and that you articulate this to your new partner.
Many people are not sure what they want from their lives so they land up sitting back and waiting for their partners to lead the way. This could eventually result in feelings of resentment and a lack of personal fulfilment.
It’s therefore important to get to know yourself first, so that you can be clear about yourself when you meet someone new.
The next step would be to discuss your needs and your hopes with your partner. Why? Because they may be the wrong person for you.
People are far too willing to accept any form of attention, forgetting that the person may not be the right choice in the long run. Leaving it too late to discover this, might lead to a very disappointing and painful end.
Before you get too settled in a relationship, be sure that your partner understands exactly what it is you hope to achieve, and check to see whether they are prepared to work with you to help you achieve your goals. It’s just as important that you are also prepared to support them achieve their goals too.
Then you need to be clear about your similarities and your differences. Understanding differences is crucial. If you cannot cope with the differences then maybe the relationship is not the right one for you.
You need therefore to discuss from the start or as soon as you begin to realise that the relationship might be getting serious, how you will both manage your life on a daily basis, and what you expectations are of one another. If your expectations vary enormously, you might have a problem. Finding this out sooner than later will save you time and pain.
There are also big difference between fantasy and reality. Fantasies, dreams and hopes about relationships start early in childhood. Usually they start via fairy tale stories and they can creep into adult relationships if we are not careful.
Your conscious or unconscious inner hopes and fantasies might vary, compared to your partner’s fantasies. One can build up a fantasy that is not always shared by your partner. Consequently, this can result in many misunderstandings. The fantasy – the non-reality and the ‘not checking with your partner first, and finding out what they feel or want’, can actually lead to destructive arguments and disappointments.
Communication is therefore the key to a good relationship. This is why it is so important to know yourself. As I quoted in the last Blog:
“The first thing you have to know is yourself. A man who knows himself can step outside himself to watch others.”
By Adam Smith.
Once you know yourself and you learn as I keep saying, ‘To watch yourself like a hawk’, you will ask different questions and you will see ‘with different eyes’ too. This will help you make better relationship choices to suit your life goals too.
So remember, in order to attract the right relationship you need to be clear about what you want.
Note: © 2014 Information Copyright Deidré Wallace
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